The ability to give help with grace, especially when you don’t feel like it.
Birthing and Parenting Partners, this one is for you! There are going to be some thankless days ahead of you. And even if there were a million ba-jillion thanks’s on the way, there’s only so much that will help after months of doing all the cooking, laundry, lifting, dishes, appointment setting, and more! It’s gonna be hard and sometimes you are going to be so over it.
Short Reads
Caregiver Dot Org Article, “The Emotional Side of Caregiving”
Parent Dot Com Article, “18 Ways to Care For Your Pregnant Partner”
The Manual Article, “How to Support Your Pregnant Partner”
Is one of the new things you need to do meal-planning, grocery shopping and cooking and you have no idea where to begin? Try one of these articles…Kitchn “The Beginner’s Guide to Meal Planning” or “Meal Planning for Beginners” and here’s a link for more sample meal plans than you could dream of.
Do
Do things without being asked…sort + wash + dry + fold + put away the laundry, meal plan + grocery shop + prep + make dinner, throw some WD40 at that squeaky door. Go nuts with the unprompted helpfulness! Here’s a great list of household chores from Parachute if you’d like some ideas.
Do things the first time you are asked, without needing a reminder. I know, I know it’s a bitchy sounding thing for me to say! And that’s why it’s not listed on any of the website links above, because they are being very very nice. Which is important. But so is honesty. And honestly, reminding people to do things is so stressful and if your partner is doing it it is stressing her the fuck out.
Remember to take time for yourself. We love you and want you to be happy! And we want you to keep loving us, which means you need to not hate your life.
Go to the gym and get those endorphins! They’ll help with general mood. Not to mention that we are probably not having sex with you (despite the fact that websites love to pretend that “increased libido” is a common side effect of pregnancy) and we are sorry … some extra endorphins may help? Again, sorry about the sex.
Reach out to her relatives and friends and ask them to help you help her. It will make them very happy to be able to help, it will make her feel surrounded in a big-ole-hug, and it’ll help take the load off of you.
Buy for Your Partner or Request As A Gift
This nausea care package from Sunflower Motherhood
Or this one from Bump Boxes
Something nice for yourself! You deserve a bit of treat-yo-self!